Have you ever read a Deadspin comment thread that wasn’t shitty, awful jokes?

*Deletes “Oh he OWNS Jerusalem does he?” joke.

Why is he dressed like the ghost of Ebeneezer Scrooge’s half brother?

This is kood Ginga.

I had that “Christmas morning” feeling in my stomach when I read that last sentence.

...the form and growth of the team up to this point left us convinced that we need to go in a different direction.

Late to the party, but happy to be here.

Hey look kids, a deer!

David Blaine could force a card on Jesus Christ himself.

I agree with all of this, but I’d like to add Jermaine Jones’ hustle is unmatched, and the pressure he applies on the ball can cause problems, BUT he can’t be paired with a lackadaisical Michael Bradley. They both end up out of position way, way too often. Which puts too much pressure on our back line and/or affects…

Lebron’s hypossenuse, if you will.

I’ve had dogs —I’ve had so many dogs. I know the best dogs! But, believe me, Crooked Hillary has a cat! I grabbed it without asking and she let me!

“Winter has comed.”

So it’s like a butthole with a clit?

I hope the penguin pussy was worth the ass beating he got. Now he’s just stuck with that penguin hoe, and in 3 years he’ll be wondering if she’s gonna do the same thing to him. Mark my words!

This entire article should only be two words:

In more important news, apparently the average height of people in Chicago is 10 feet.

This is everything.

Leave Tom Brady out of this.

That’s true. I just got an Am Staff/Lab mix puppy, but he looks like a full blooded Am Staff, and people go what kind of pit bull is that? So without being the “HE’S NOT A COLD BLOODED KILLER” kind of person that everyone loves, I have to explain the brief history of the breed. From what I gather, in the 1930s the…