“We’re going to build a wall. And we’re going to make the Dodgers pay for it.”
- Rockies owner

What are you, 5?

FYI the pic you used is one of a kid eating dippin dots...so.....

Actually I very much welcome conversation and critical thinking. Unfortunately the Bernie Bros are usually too drunk to engage in such civilities.

You’re the best.

Bernie Cons:

Christ. This is the uphill battle baseball has forged for itself, where concepts like 'fun' and 'excitement' are akin to root canals. Honestly, Grump McGrouchykins here is somehow or other pissed that people got hyped for the opening day of the season and made a big deal out of it? Significant life events for Hale…

This is the most horrifying thing I have ever read.

HOLY HELL YET ANOTHER PET PEEVE OF MINE! Jesus Christ take off your backpack and put between your legs or hold it to be considerate of others to not slam someones head off with your god damn backpack. holy hell Christ I must leave this blog post immediately!

Finally I get to share my story publicly in a setting where people WANT to hear it!!! In December 2014, I started having really massive stomach cramps. I thought perhaps I had eaten something bad, or was PMSing, but these cramps were constant. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped being able to eat. I couldn’t stand up…

Combo style ass-wiping. Slight stand-crouch for maximum penetration. How the fuck does one stand and wipe their ass?

Standing would seem illogical. Doesn’t that shut the poop hole up?

Yes, Inglourious Basterds is that good.

Bernie. You mean they can’t say shit about Bernie.

It happened once with me and my sister. Obviously not the same level but still...I think I could do better.

I actually freeze most of my butter inventory, and only keep a couple of sticks in the fridge. This works for me because 1) cold butter melts within seconds in a hot pan; 2) I don’t really make toast; and 3) room temperature butter fucking rots.

You left off "for 82 year olds" in the headline.