... Fuck.

BARTMAN WE FORGIVE YOU

It’s a special thing Vancouver does. I think the rink in San Jose has some function in it that you can feel vibrations off the boards from your seats?

2-0 and 3-1 would be the only possible ways that “comeback from two goals” happens.

Comparison for comparison’s sake, but Kershaw’s kerfuffles in the postseason seem akin to Peyton Manning’s troubles in the playoffs.

That Browns fan has been through too much. I think we witnessed his homeostasis of despair.

Maybe they were going for those quadruple 1's.

Holy shit! This kid is a stud!

After his previous injury I was thinking “Okay, this isn’t funny anymore, I actually feel bad for the guy,“ and now it’s just depressing.

I hope Leavensworth is doing alright with that flood!

Bridgestone Arena in Nashville used to be named the Gaylord Entertainment Center, so uh, there’s that.

A world with no s’mores flavored Pop-Tarts is a world I don’t want to participate in.

Mario & Sonic is an Olympic tie-in video game and with seeing Mario up-and-front like he was, I would be shocked if there wasn’t any promos featuring Sonic, or just the M&S video game straight up.

The gala feels like the Skills Competition™ of the Olympics, and that’s a good thing. Very much enjoyed this.

Why is nobody mentioning the fact that Jason Whittaker is apparently 100 years into the future, or that Rio got to host the Olympics again?

Hell yeah Michael’s story is incredible, that’s 23 goddamn gold medals you spambot!

In my humble opinion, that’s a little too much for a Klondike bar.

When Team Europe wins the World Cup of Hockey, what anthem plays? Will it be some sort of mash-up anthem or a royalty-free orchestral track?

For the rest of your life you have to either have to eat tree bark for one meal a day or pour cold milk over everything you eat. Which would you choose?

Why is Ray Bourque the highest rated player on NHL ‘95? This isn’t fair.