Fittingly, punting this guy into a blackhole wouldn’t be much of an L.

The perfect candidate to dazzle this asshole with brilliance is Deez Nuts.

His signature headwear is appropriate if he’s going to blow his top.

This only proves Chris Wondolowski definitely murdered someone.

[Reads “... mediocre Bulls...”]

So the 1995 Packers went the longest with the shortest?

All while Lisa is tearing me apart.

Tough to blame the Soviet judge this time around.

“Jesus Christ, these kids are animals...”

Like we needed another reminder how much better things were in 2008...

Man, Argentinian soccer rivalries are messi.

If you could see thought bubbles above Blackhawks fans, approximately 90% would end in “... for some reason” for everything that happens in a hockey game.

Can’t fault a guy looking out for No. 1.

OK, Donnie Jr., but nobody forgot about your dad’s worst deal—paying $130,000 to rent three cubic inches of Stormy Daniels for seven minutes.

This is way better than what happens when Patrick Kane goes home.

Wow, just imagine the damage if those were bottles! Thank god the Mariners will never win a World Series.

To clarify, “sitting” while playing for Thibs means Butler will only play 41 minutes tonight.

According to Boston Municipal Code 2.15-001b, every man within city limits, when wearing a vest, is legally obligated to say, “Suck on it!”

But we all agree Marlins Man does not, right?

Can’t say I’m surprised Barr ended the career of Bilal Powell instead of, say, Christian McCaffrey or Danny Woodhead.