I’m giving myself a three-way blowjob just thinking about this.

This is way better than the night-vision view of Hilton’s genitals getting wrecked.

TL;DR taint nothing

Still nowhere near as bad as my ‘88 unforced errors of investing in slap bracelets and that Tiffany record.

OCare is twice as nice as that shithole airport in Chicago.

As an Irishman, McMurphy should know the only time you’re allowed to put your hands on a woman is when she’s late and atop a flight of stairs.

I guess somebody’s gotta criticize old white guys now that Castro’s dead.

What if the hypothetical Boogie-to-Boston trade had been good? What if it had been bad?

The last time a wizard asked this question was when he overheard Ron banging Hermoine.

It’s hard to blame the guy. He’s been told his whole life he gets three strikes.

I suggest rethinking that whole “Over 38" thing, guys.

“Look at Larry Nance” has been the safety word for dozens of Cleveland husbands for a quarter-century.

FAU could’ve really used an advisor to tell them not to add visor.

Anyway, we should all root for chaos and controversy. In Dallas, they’re undefeated.

As a publicly traded company, you’re often rewarded...

Let’s hope the police find these cowards before they sign with the Buffalo Bills.

My heart goes out to his faamily.

“Jesus, haven’t we faught enough over lifeless bodies?”

“Revenge, motherfuckers!”

The world is truly upside down when the servant is spoon-fed a yam.