Chinese Gordon, I assume, is a NASCAR driver who can’t park for shit.

The Ginger Ham.

Sounds more like a Wisconsin Badger.

Had this copied and ready to paste. Damn you.

Jesus Christ, there’s nothing worse than hearing about someone’s fantasy team.

“Those curbs are fucking sneaky, man.”

The NFL is a bunch of fucking hypocrites.

Fucker is the reason why I have a conniption whenever I hear someone say, “Well, if you just think about it...”

“I decided I’d rather be friends with Carlson instead.”

Funny, considering Vandy was on the receiving end for most of last year.

As if everyone’s incessant masturbation wasn’t enough to convince us Bristol is like junior high.

With a name like that, it seems like the Bucs are encouraging women to pay attention once a month, not once a week.

If I were you, my sixth thought would have something to do with a fifth.

It’s fine they used Wes Welker as the model for the diagram, but the foreshadowing of velcro shoes is a bit harsh.

Still doesn’t compare to Chicago’s Brookfield Zoo in terms of giving rays the silent treatment.

In defense of Mark Brunell, wouldn’t you hate the patriots if they burned holes through your pockets for years?

When people questioned if he could be a three-technique, he took matters into his own hand.

Why do the Cardinals need more charity than playing the Cubs 19 goddamn times a year?

Of course Correia talks a lot of shit. She’s literally bathing in it at home.

Mort’s definitely more capable than the rest of ESPN’s NFL team. Chris Berman has been asking coworkers how he can get plugged in for decades.