I feel like this profile has finally given Durant the stroke he needed to graduate from Cheesebutt to Sensitive Penis.

3. One need not perform sophisticated analysis to see that, both for the health of the broader sport of baseball and for the specific individual big-league clubs, it is in fact good for there to be lots of easy, affordable, family-friendly ways for people to consume the sport in person and form rooting attachments to…

Here I am, sitting in my basement, alternating between valuing a SaaS business, some guy’s losses from a car accident, and working on a global economics paper for school, and Jim is out here asking the important questions in life.

When I saw the video, I immediately had one thought: I’ve heard of Karate Mark! Is this Karate Mark the same guy who’s taught karate since I was a kid, or does Philadelphia have two Karate Marks? I reached out to a man named Classic Jeff and he confirmed it for me: There is only one Karate Mark.

Unplugging my brain from reconciling life’s many small disappointments and surrendering completely to some adults acting like rambunctious and creative children felt nice.

This is so stupid. If you can’t figure out a way to have 35 of your starting catchers 40ish off days fall every 5th day to literally give your team a better shot at winning, then . . . wait, shit. Sorry. Mets. Got it.

No. Baseball players routinely receive a smaller percentage of the revenue pie than players in the other “Big 4" North American professional sports. Last year, total salaries were approximately 40% of all “baseball-related” revenues.

“I mean, how do you not murder her every day?”

I’m surprised you didn’t use the version with the translation for the visually impaired. Here’s a sample of Laura Ingraham’s comments at the end of the interview:

Broncos. Tonight. 10:20 PM EDT. Oakland. Be there, or don’t. At this point, what difference does it make?

The whole exchange:

Holy shit. The last part of that line almost made me lose my shit in the office. Early seasons Krieger is so goddamned good. Between his experiments, the van, and his anime hologram “wife”. Fuck.

opened at Pats -14.5

Dude, I’m aware. I’d still stay the fuck away from this game. But I was making a comment about the amateurs who play pools and shit.

He knows how to get better arms. But he historically blows his load on one season then that’s about it.

Same thing they almost always do in Miami? You mean this?

I’m not sure what you’re getting at, because I wouldn’t ever bet a double-digit road favourite on principle, but I had to star because “Tell him about the sex robot!” is probably my favourite Archer supporting cast sequence ever.