Your momz is in on it. #blindghazi

Hot take. Unorthodox. I like it.

Huh. I must have blanked the waterfowl prophylactic from my mind.

Howard The Duck had duck tits (!) That sounds like a truism. I mean... you know what I mean, FFS.

We’ve gone from a Beatle being pilloried for saying “We’re bigger than Jesus” to a republican presidential contender saying “I could shoot someone in the street, LOL!” I know there’s more context to it, but the point is he’s bragging that people are saying this about him. It’s a brag (!) That’s both funny and…

Well, she found Osama Bin Laden. Maybe don’t send a couple of seal teams, though...

There should be a Curb Your Enthusiasm trigger warning attached to that anecdote.

So it’s some kinda holey grail...

Thankyou. That cheered me right up.

People dread working with Krysten Ritter

It will be called a “Bey-vorce” and everyone will want to do it.

Maybe she’ll be joined by The Harvey Boys...

My day brightened when I read that as:

Two Corinthians walk into a bar...

It’s Snake! Sometimes he does a good turn.

Was it an ostrich? I thought it was Shirley Bassey.

You’re thinking of Pierce Connery. Roger Dalton was the first Englishman to ascend Mount Everest on a pogo stick.

This whole ludicrous affair is crying out for the Team America treatment.

So many london old primary schools look the same. Same bricks, same parquet floors, same brass plaque inside commemorating misfortune in the blitz.

Would you rather be the cat’s pajamas or the yacht’s pajamas?