It's no surprise that A-Rod finally gave in to LinkedIn's aggressive emailing; he's always been receptive to needling.

Jeter's Inbox:

We gotta listen to Olbermann on this. No one knows more about getting fired for being a dick.

To be fair, the last bastard the Mets came across almost left them bankrupt.

BREAKING: the NFL has hastily and retroactively promoted Cardinals linebacker John Abraham to executive.

My grandmother had to drop out of school in seventh grade to start working, because that's what immigrant kids did, and was popping out babies in her 20s. She gave birth to five, raised nine. On my worst days, I can hear her in my head telling me to quit all my complaining because, even on her good days, she had it so…

They must be using a lousy microphone, because I'm watching these videos and all I can hear is a rhythmic slapping sound.

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Goodell.

"I HATE THIS FUCKING TEAM!!! ... Oh, here is good? Well thanks for choosing Uber and don't forget to leave a review."

They've really raised the level of discourse on First Take lately.

+6 the other way

In related news, Giants fans mourn the passing of Eli Manning.

If Sam doesn't catch on with the Cowboys, I suppose he is always able to join the Indians, Construction Workers, Sailors or Police Officers.

sure they signed Bart. I suck!

That's Lester

The tide rolls slower in some places than others.

"This isn't impressive, we have two Upton asses" - Atlanta Braves

What's the big deal? Busch Stadium features 43,000 dicks in the stands every game.

At least their urine tests were clean.

"I just went to Bangor" turned out to not be a great alibi