This is more of a question of which mug shot to choose.

"Thanks for taking the heat off me." - Jim Dolan

I had no idea Lisa Lampanelli had a daughter. That must've been one drunk sperm donor.

If your man can't perform four times in a row, then it is time to move on.

OMG, this character is NAKED?!?

I remind of this fact five times a week after he asks if I want my usual.

400 Pounds? Wow he must've really put on a lot of weight? Oh this isn't about Ryan Dempster? (shows my way out)

I throw the ball...yay!!! Where are my tickets so I can purchase a crappy plastic ring?

Where's that place in Astoria that I went to a long time ago, it was run by some quasi-racist, his wife died, his son-in-law was god forbid an athiest and his daughter gained 300 pounds and went on tv on behalf of starving Africans.

"Dan Snyder knows how to use his head!" - Gus Frerotte

Canada's chief exports are maple syrup, timber, and crappy pop singers.

I'm waiting for someone to join the Red Raiders and declared that he is committing to the Texas Institute of Technology.

I find this out after buying brownies at Coors Field.

The women usually starts first because when the men finish no one pays attention to the women anymore.

A 2-year old already picks out Wisconsin's best Cheese Schnapps.

How long before we tell Sager that Triple H is junior's real father.

Everyone knows that Jesus plays catcher for the Mariners. What they don't know is that Robinson Cano is not a very big pitcher.

Ya, Jeets can pick up this hot Cleveland babe.

Stands for Karlos Beltran

Russia will have to go Siberia, only picks up with nose gold.