Ironic that the water question got leaked to Hillary by the thirstiest woman on the fucking planet.

They both bought property on White Feminist Island and don’t check their mail very often.

I just had a vision of calling that number, and suddenly Mark Ruffalo appears at my precinct and Hulks out on any would-be voting intimidators.

Just did the math — I’ve been disgusted by Sean Penn for six years longer than his new girlfriend has been alive.

Jane will be playing Myla Marbles in The Skill of the Negotiation: The Danny Dimp-Domp Story.

Is it okay if I- white, straight, male- play this game, too? Because I like it!

No wonder he walks that way...

“Because fuck all ya’ll, that’s why.”

i am into this, but also idris is way too cool to be friends w her becky ass self.

Why did Sesame Street send out a blank tweet?

lol i started crying as soon as aly finished her floor and starting crying

Her performance was amazing. I teared up watching Aly and Simone hug at the end. The BBC commentators were in awe of her ability.

Bublé literally refers to raising his child as “babysitting.” Barf-a-fucking-roni.

Yayyyyy, Silvertiger!!!!!!! So glad your wait has paid off!!!!!! xoxo

New theory: Yoko gets Chinese take out every night and just tweets us her fortune.

How in the world did this become about who you are sleeping with??

3) How could you forget that oven mitts only fit women’s hands?! Clearly you’re not qualified to be a member of the GOP (grand orange puppet) campaign staff.