This story is really nice. It embiggens us all.

It doesn’t have the baggage of US imperialism or a crumbling empire trying desperately to pull at your heartstrings for purposes of ideological fielity/social control...

Obligatory:

Mullen: Guys you got it all wrong. I never said we had a “No Weapons” Policy, I said we have, “No ‘weapons policy.’” Silly media.

“I deeply regret those tweets and apologize to everyone that I offended.  I will be donating a portion of my allowance to charities that provide support to at-risk LGBTQ youth.  I realize that what I did was inexcusable, but I ask the public to understand that when I tweeted those things I had a brain the size of a…

cue the discovery of his homophobic tweets as a fetus

The Browns think that list is THEIRS.

Don’t forget Joel Ornstein, a prosperity gospel grifter who has attracted thousands of idiot followers, enough to build himself multiple multi-million dollar mansions while keeping his massive compound of a church closed to people looking for shelter during Hurricane Harvey.

That’s European soccer for you. Nobody even touched him, but he fell down every time.

There are two seats there for Bobby Knight, one is really heavy and the other is nailed to the floor. 

That’s the part I don’t get either. First in 2015, but then especially his responses on media days last week.

Hell it’s what Urban Meyer already did at Florida.

[Colts hang up “2018 WYTS Finalist” banner in Lucas Oil Stadium]

Fair enough. OP’s joke was better than mine too. [sadface]

According to the websites I frequent, it IS not HIS REAL MOM.

HEY SULKING TEEN YOU BIG STUD TAKE ME TO BED OR LOSE ME FOREVER

I liked the part where the coach was trying to catch Gronk’s halter and rein him in. Gronk looked like he might bolt during the excitement. Too bad it cut away right before Gronk ate an apple out of the coach’s hand in one bite. 

I met my wife on a transatlantic private jet. It was 1974, inflation was high, fuel prices for the jet nearly bankrupted me, but I Was determined to see Japan. I parked the Rolls on the runway right outside of Houston and looked back on my oil empire. Things for most people weren’t good; for me, they were great. It…

I don’t think that’s inconsequential at all. It’s fucking lunacy. 

Barry isn’t actually real and his columns are outsourced to a dozen writers in a blogging sweatshop.