Pillbugs never had it so good in this country

My best friend is a pillbug so it can’t be racist.

Can’t have a next Zodiac Killer while the current one is still on the loose.

Not many people are as talented as Chase. Let’s face it, he got work despite being a sack of douche because he can be really funny. People like him and fellow douche container Mike Meyers eventually run out of goodwill and get relegated to movies like Cops & Robbersons and having to show up in heavy makeup on The Gong…

Running away from the “demons” in his head his whole life sounds like something more than just CTE.

[A] team does not have to actually be ass in order to be the Ass Team Of The Week.

Like a rose that grows in a crack in the sidewalk, he’s too beautiful for this world. 

A lot of the bros at Wrigley tend to get drunk and say stupid shit. Also lot’s of folks aren’t locals and don’t necessarily know that they’ll get their ass kicked if they say that to someone. I’m not saying that Chicagoans aren’t racist I’m just saying that Chad from Chicago will be aware of the impending ass beating…

He looks so full of life, and pcp

Game was over for a few minutes, I think they were just trying to get everyone out. The line about not being able to record someone is total bullcrap and not true at all, seems like the usher was just trying to defuse the situation.

Fun fact! Passer rating isn’t the only QB stat in which Fitz ranks second in the league.

Serves Witten right for the number of times he said “Fitz-Magic” in the announcer’s booth

I blame the injury on the airbag not deploying during the Carr crash.

The way the eyes move around randomly in different directions makes it look like its gotten hit too many times by Scott Stevens in the neutral zone. 

a bunch of children on hand at the Please Touch Museum

Red Sox fans may not be the smartest bunch, but for one moment, he was the brightest of them all.

Pirate Dog telling me All Lives Matter (...in Vermont!) was the oddest one I saw this summer.

They should have sent a Brazillian.

Barry eat 50 raw eggs please

He was only down there for a few seconds, but his recording device recorded 18 hours of static.