It was a beautiful woman in a pretty dress. They should have applauded anyway.

Dave Chapelle had to give up, because he ran out of rope.

How on earth does someone live to the age of 26 without getting a name?

I watched the trailer, and this film is not about Dakota Johnson’s character. This is a REBEL WILSON movie. Dakota Johnson is just furniture in this.

That great prophet died at Christmas time last year. Killed by Death.

There’s a short story there, I swear.

I think it’s what she might be wearing in the article photo. As a tiara, it is definitely lacking.

I bet she’s got a swimming pool in her building, too.

They’re not even jobs. They’re ways to bag a rich husband.

I don’t think this counts because Grace Jones looks good in literally anything, and also in nothing.

It’s a reference to the Velvet Underground’s first album cover, by Andy Warhol. Which is cool, but she’s still an asshole.

Holy shit, I am writing that down for future reference. Ouch!

I guess she has to cover her head with things to hide her disgusting hair.

Oh, come on. It’s how you wear them....

She looks like Sarah Jessica Parker if SJP had grown up rich.

I was given a tiara as a gift at the launch of my first book. I wanted to tell you that so that you know that I have written and published at least one book.

Wait, seriously, the wings carried in a bandolier idea is GENIUS.

My true love and I together would kill the goat, cook it and eat it.

This will not stand. Rowing and kayaking are two things that New Zealand do very well at an Olympic level, and they WILL be safe.