Thank you. I can’t even manage to shave my legs consistently.

They have put poison in his kibble, he just doesn’t know yet.

I so desperately want to say, “That son of a bitch!”

It doesn’t even have to be PSTD. I would have broken his arm, called 911 and stood on him til they got there.

There are times even in my life when word fail - yes, completely fail me.

I find Courtney Stodden’s pregnancy news troubling. At her age - she’s what. 67? there are so many risks involved.

Some of us would just prefer to go home in one piece, fuck the deference and your blanket assumptions.

Go home, Ted Cruz, you’re drunk.

Let me explain the comment you could not wrap your mind around - if that had been a male attorney, this would not have happened.

You...you aren’t trolling, are you? Donald, is that you?

Oh dear God, another brain donor. If he had the balls to charge her properly and have the bailiff arrest her, then hand-cuffing is protocol. You cannot hand-cuff someone to punish them or teach them a lesson except in BSMD,

Sweetheart, check your purse and see if you tucked your brain in there.

I will give you $20 for that description.

It is a paternalistic, patronizing technique widely seen in authority figures who want to try to return females to their proper place in life. Strangely, in the judicial system,this familiarity is deeply resented if the attorney should similarly address the Court as “Conrad, honey.”

Is there no Judicial Qualifications Commission in this state? Because even in Lunacyville, Florida we take that shit seriously

There is a disturbingly pedo-paternalistic air here, as if maybe he’d like to pull down her panties and spank her so she would be a good girl from now on.

As I will be leaving the United States of Fuckface Von Clownstick (bless you, Pope Jon Stewart) after the election, and my cardboard box in Venezuela has no internet, could you brilliant Jezebel writers compile a list of the incredibly wonderful descriptions for Der Drumpf Fuhrer? I would treasure this, and I bet the…

She was with her mother because there is no (pre-Trump) curfew on toddlers, who should be with their mothers and should be fucking safe 24/7.

Well, now, GregSamsa always calls me out of the shadows, that well-spoken contrarian rascal!

I think the AVON SSS is an urban legend. I live in the Florida, in the woods, and my lifelong experience with our mosquitos down here has been if hasn’t got DEET it ain’t shit. It is however one of the most successful marketing campaigns since white vinegar was marketed as the Jesus Christ of cleaning products.

I think the AVON SSS is an urban legend. I live in the Florida, in the woods, and my lifelong experience with our…