I hope it's mom's job to teach their daughter how to use a tampon.

Can you imagine?

Yeah man. These players need to shut the fuck up so I can masturbate to them violently colliding with each other without having to be aware of their "agendas."

The single-entity structure is a response to two specific things:

The way this site works is that we expect that linking to articles about a guy, embedding a video about him, and mentioning that he's fought on the local circuits and is a former training partner of an Olympic wrestling captain should provide our readers, who we don't think are total fucking morons, enough context to…

Really a shame that COTY isn't based on counting stats, huh.

Sounds like the only college football player who was afraid to come out of the closet was Craig James' kid.

You'd be tired, too. Every day—at the bank, on the phone, after interviews, and now to disgruntled teammates—it's, "There's no 'U' in 'Marreese.'"

Despite not being in any sort of physical danger, Zimmerman still plans to shoot DMX.

Oh my god, are you okay?

Interesting. I wonder what basketball would look like in New York.

Toboggan is the fucking worst.

The wonderful thing about America is no matter where you go, even in the littlest towns you can find the grandest achievements. Mitchell SD has the Corn Palace, a huge building covered completely in corn. Cawker City KS has the largest ball of twine. Leggett CA has a tree you can drive through. Each of these towns…

I'm figuring that you're just doing a little pickin' at the Jezebel ladies. Yeah, they've got some overbearing folks over there who have a tendency to go over the top sometimes. But they've also got many, many intelligent folks that are aware of the dangers they face and how difficult it is to get a conviction in this…

To get away from the back and forth on this for a second, I would really, truly like to say, with one hundred per cent seriousness, and after years of lurking and months of commenting, that this is, by far, my favourite Deadspin comment of all time. And that's in a world with EMS's "crossing the T" joke. I might…

Let them have their fun. It makes for such simplistic fun for them. One day it might sink in that the painting of an entire population because of a few nitwits could be applied to every state in this country.

The same post on the Yankees' Facebook page has plenty of responses exactly like this. But hey, can't go wrong with the "ha ha the South is full of stupid rednecks" narrative.

If you want to add one thing, just stick to "+1" in the future and leave the video embeds to the Deadspin Elite in DUAN. Thanks

Jeter in Butt Land II: The Rebuttening

I'll never forget the day my dog gave me a card on Valentine's Day. It read: I ♥worms. It really didn't make much sense until he died the following week.