Fantastic.

Ha!

The source close to the Skeeters went on to express his relief that, once Clemens moves on, the team will finally be able to remove the "BU—A-E" sign Roger insisted they display during each inning he pitches.

Christ could you guys just hold still for one second?

I've always been curious: How does such large-scale synchronization work, anyway? Do you use watches? Like, every fourth Tuesday you'd look down at your watch—"yup, 2:15"—and just like that it's like the elevator from The Shining?

+1

+1

Shakespeare: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more—

"Alright, how 'bout this one?

Good for Oscar, but the IAAF's decision forces literally every other Olympian to wait another day before fulfilling what their 2012 Olympics have been about: the chance to see if they can try those things, just for a second, c'mon, just to the grass and back I promise I won't hurt them.

+1

Chase Headley: Hey, Yonder, you hear about Mickelson buying our team? I heard . . . doesn't even . . . idiot . . .

You got it, Ponyboy.

You know, that is unsurprising. It's anecdotal, sure, but I can tell you about how I came from firmly within the "out-group" and was welcomed immediately, in particular by IMG (among others).

Motherfuck is that good.

Whoa.

Fantasy Football DUAN

I'm from Deadspin, but the same applies over there, so I hope you'll forgive me for what I'm about to say here:

No better time than the present, my man. And I agree, we should do another Seinfeld DUAN soon. In fact, you'd have read that very sentiment had you been on Twitter ten minutes ago.

It's tough to pick out a favorite Elaine line, but that one is up there. The Billy Mumphrey monologue comes to mind as well.