Holy shit. Dad? How did you get here?

It’s sooooooo good. So good. I still mourn its cancellation.

He allowed her to keep her title? Allowed her? Thanks so much, you jolly, benevolent, master of the universe, flaming Cheeto-faced piece of dung. Thanks loads.

Mr. Deb and I have a rule for eating out: If we’re stuck on the menu and it’s down to anything and a taco? Go for the taco. Every time. Any time I’ve broken the rule I’ve ended up disappointed. ALWAYS THE TACO.

We do. We really, really do.

other Asia

Because if she’s legit, that means the seal has broken and the other three Horsemen are saddling up.

If we’re together, and Forrest Gump comes on, I swear to almighty Isis that in one last Herculean feat of strength, I will drown you in your rice pudding before the beginning credits finish rolling.

Never seen it. Don’t want to see it. Have no plans to see. Have sworn to go to my grave without seeing it. Have legitimate fear of ending up in a nursing home at age 101-years-old, in a wheelchair, without the power of speech or mobility, and someone will put ‘The Notebook’ on (or ‘Titanic,’ because I have equally…

I now have Shaggy’s ‘It Wasn’t Me,’ stuck in my head, where it will live, in perpetuity, on repeat, until I die. Thanks, pal.

Damn you...

Your kindness just brightened up this girl’s cold, autumn day.

Our dollar isn’t worth anything right now anyway. You know how Americans say it looks like Monopoly money? Yeah, Monopoly money has more value.

I would drive down from Canada to help you, friend.

I getting the feeling Ms. Obama is completely, totally, utterly and finally done with this bullshit. All of it. Just done. She’s going to retire to a beach house somewhere and make Barack bring her strong gin drinks in mason jars while he wears nothing but a sarong. They won’t even have cable. No, they won’t have a tel…

From bitter experience I can definitively say: “Yes, KitKat. Yes, it would absolutely hurt.” Dig those nails in!

Four years is awesome. I think you’re magnificent.

Ugh. I live in rural Alberta. Robot Former Prime Minister is a god here. ‘Canada’s Best Prime Minister’ and all that bullshit. These people still hate Trudeau Sr. It hurts my soul.

Soooooo, looting during a riot after someone loses a football game? That’s kind of what I’m hearing.

Timbits and health care for everyone!