My 20th birthday. It was joint party at my first apartment with my then roommate. Our birthdays are close so we ended up combining parties, but then combining with a bunch of our other friends so it turned into a Godzilla of a party. We decided it was Spice Girls themed but me and my roommate were the only people who…

That really is the Godfather III of the Ernest movies...

Back in the 90s I was at a party with a band playing in the front room. Lead singer decided to do some kind of fire tricks and HIS FACE CAUGHT ON FIRE. He sang one more song until the ambulance came. I was sober.

One night I was just tagging along with some friends to a party my senior year of college. It turned out that the party I was going to was a *3 month anniversary party* for this dude and his long-distance girlfriend.

The last time I drank tequila was in 1996. My BFF/roommate and I went to a party at a friend’s apartment. BFF was going to tell a boy she was in love with him, not knowing that he had chosen that occasion to announce his super-gayness. Whoops!

My family immigrated to America from Korea when I was seven years old. I remember very few things about my childhood there, but this particular incident remains seared to my memory.

This is actually kind of sweet, I think. Uncanny, but sweet.

I had just lost my job - I’m a single dad and this hit hard; I live in northern Michigan, positions in my field are difficult to find, and the company, based in San Francisco, just kind of phased my position out. I’m prone to depression, so I got really low,…

The summer after my sophomore year of college, my parents asked me to house sit for them while they went out of town for a long weekend. At the time, they lived in a fairly remote area so it was a bit of a trek, but it was a big beautiful house on the lake and my parents’ pets were sweethearts. First night I actually…

When we were kids, my sister and I watched “Now and Then” with our neighbor friends. We were 4 girls between the ages of 9 and 13 - I was the youngest. Despite my mom’s religious upbringing and banning of Ouija boards and anything else that could be considered Satanic, the movie exposed us to the concept of a seance.

Na…

An awkward moment in an otherwise good first date:

Unfortunately, Tan has said multiple times that he likes Bieber’s style. Headdesk. I love Tan, but it pisses me off that this so-called style that a poor person would have made over on the show is lauded in the wealthy.

HAHAHAHAHA, me too. What would Jimmy Buffet do?

Me too!

Any “America’s sweetheart” will do. That title is the kiss of death for an actress as far as exploring her talent goes.

My first reaction to this was, what a lovely moment for mothers everywhere. I don’t think she was trying to glamorize her child as an accessory - do you really believe that was what this moment was about for her? Yes it made headlines, the kind headlines I like to see more of. I’m sort of astounded at Jezebel’s…

Situational Best Chris!

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! It can’t be over already. I don’t wanna wait another year for 10 more episodes. Thanks for doing an awesome job on these again this year, LaFergs. I wish there were as many people still around as last year to enjoy them.

Not only was it nasty, it was dumb. Way to wreck your own image there, honey.

Because there’s nothing interesting going on with the top 4 queens, I’ll talk about something else ...

Pratt used to be the best Chris, until he started talking about how he feels bad for all the white straight males of the world and how much he loves his guns and the troops and Trump. He just got uglier and uglier to me. I want Andy Dwyer back.