Day-um! Sweet brows!

I learn something new every day here.

I was in a city that bordered two other states with higher speed limits than mine. I’m on the highway, doing maybe 5-10 above the speed limit just to keep up with traffic, when a frickin’ Yukon rides my ass a good 5 miles or so. The left lane was completely clear and I was new to the area, so I was a bit afraid.

My favorite way to eat cookie dough ice cream is to put that chocolate crackle stuff on it. Just let the shell harden and dig in.

“should I become president”...

Too late...

Go ahead and dump on Nicki, but leave Bristol alone. SHE SAID SHE DOESN’T WANT YOUR LECTURES! THAT MAKES HER EXEMPT FROM THE SAME WAY OF THINKING SHE USES ON OTHER PEOPLE!

If Savannah weren’t more than 600 miles for me, I would sneak right in and just start sipping mimosas with you.

Candace, dahling, you know that money can’t buy you class.

Drunk girls are the most vicious creatures I have ever seen. And I say that as an occasionally drunk girl (minus the shirt ripping).

The crying/puking/guzzling bachelorettes were some of my favorite parties of my early 20s. Now that I’m in my 30s and all of my friends are married (EXCEPT ME), I don’t think that kind of party would work for me.

I am free to be a plus one at this next bachelorette. J/k. OR AM I???

AND I WAS HAVING SUCH A GOOD DAY TOO.

I think by now Scott has had relations with every female member of the Kardashians.

A man wants dressing on the side? ASSERTIVE. He wants nice smelling sanitizer? BOSS. The OTHER shade of red.... shirts? GOOD EYE FOR FASHION.

Just checked my calendar to make sure I was living in the right year. I don’t even know what I just read.

I just saw your post and didn’t know about Van Dyke. I screamed, “NOOOOO!” and yelled at my mom, “Dick Van Dyke just died!” My mom asked, “Who?”

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was posting to a CNN site. I matter to some people too, and your reference to my “juvenile characterization” really hurt them.

I knew he’d find a way to class it up.