@la.donna.pietra: I am tempted to go to my local bookstore and secret printed out stills from "Nailin Paylin" between the leaves of every available copy. Yes, I am immature. #sarahpalin

Only skinny white people can dress like this. If you are thick or black or brown, you will look like a homeless vagrant. It's just a theory.

Never apologize for being the sexy, studying dreamboat you are, James!

@SonicNapoleonic: I dunno, when I was 4, 5, and 6, I did need sexy outfits. (This was after my dinosaur phase, but before my reading and science phase). I wore bikini tops with cutoff shorts, short skirts, and my personal favorite, a black and pink ice skating outfit with pink sequins. I loved them. They were…

Maybe it's because I'm Southern, but to me every woman I meet whose name I don't know and who is old enough to be around without her parents is "ma'am". I don't mind being called it, but I do hate diminutives like "sweetie", "honey", or it's backward country cousin, "hon". #younglady

@LoLoAGoGo: You can't resist the Gaga. #ladygagabadromancevideo

@Ineedmorecowbell: If Prejean wants to be like Coulter, she will have to learn a lot more words. #carrieprejean

"Hey girl - you wanna go out sometime? Before you say anything, check out these underpants..." #underthings

@PandaGrrl: Well, Obama and Sotomayor have long, distinguished legal careers, and Prejean has long...extensions? Maybe?

@ArtfulSlinger: I would love to see Ann Coulter interact with Carrie Prejean. I despise Coulter's views, but damn she can cut a bitch down. #carrieprejean

@beetlemier: Gotta say I hearted all over the little guy when I read "..he named him Apollo and played with him for 2 weeks." Adorbs! #lilyskids

@DinosaurDanceParty: The only remotely cleaning-related toy I can remember is the vacuum cleaner/lawn mower type contraption with the balls that popped around in the dome when you pushed it. #lilyskids

@MegiEr: @sheenapunk: Thanks for pointing that out as well, guys! #kirstiealleytwitter

@GirlFailer: I don't know if you meant to do this, but "sanctimony" for "sanctity" in that context is the most appropriate Freudian slip EVER. #oprahellenportiaderossi

I love this "hard working Americans" bullshit...because people come here illegally from other countries, and then live like kings on welfare and food stamps! Reality check, Scott Baio: most illegal immigrants work harder than you ever will, definitely for far less money, many at jobs you would never even imagine could…

@hortense: Yeah, who even are her parents? The fact that I can ask that makes them the anti-Lohans. #dakotafanningteenvogue

@wednesdayam: That's true. And that's accepting the fact that Japan is a small country with a most homogeneous population. Can you imagine trying to implement something like that in the United States? #healthnuts

@bluetrain84: I hear she's a lesbian/fat/butch/man-hater/liberal/anti-American/Muslim/Muslin/terrorist #nancykeenan

@first man: Outside of Jezebel and other feminist forums/groups, where exactly are these pissed off women? Because of where her political affiliations lie, my mom would think this was appropriate or even funny. #politricks

@futuremouse: I read these stories and I want to get all Draconian Pre-K Teacher on their asses. "EXCUSE YOU", eyebrows raised, lips taut. "Tom Price. Sit. Down. NOW. I want to see you after the session." #politricks