And I guarantee you that the re-packager of the fries was not food-service trained and did not employ proper safe handling practices. He just dug in with his sweaty paw, grabbed “about enough,” and shoved them in the cups, wiping his now-greasy mitt on the tablecloth, hoping no one would notice.

Soggy fries served in paper cups with the presidential seal is probably the most apt metaphor for this presidency. 

As much of a catastrophe as Kinja can sometimes be, it’s mostly great at keeping the gremlins away. So was the old star system, honestly.

I get that comments sections are hard to maintain, because no matter what website I go to, there is a plethora of racist, sexist shitheads that just dump comments everywhere they can (even my local san francisco newspaper’s comments section is overrun with racist, sexist conservatives who hate all the people who live…

So stay tuned for next week’s installment of Dead Letters

Typical keyboard warrior

Even though I’m a huge Jodie Foster fan, I can tell you for sure that my brain wasn’t wired for Contact.

When you open google it suggests articles for you. I regularly get suggested articles from Fox News despite my very consistent “raging lefty” search and comment history.

I guess all of the Hate mail to Megan for her horrible food takes got caught in the Spam folder.

Every single hot taek ever should end with:

He had to be fired, but... BRAVO GOOD SIR! That was fucking awesome!

Now he knows why he’s had that mysterious semi hard-on for the last 24 hours.

This is a helluva way to audition to be Trevor Bauer’s social media manager. 

If you rearrange the letters in “Jen Rainwater,” you get “holy fuck this is one unstable individual.”

Can’t get fired if you never get paid in the first place.

Woooow that is a Unabomber level screed there.  Apparently baseball blogging is Serious Business.

I have been made aware that some of the interactions related to a specific Twitter exchange may have had a negative impact. That was not my intention.

Or Britta Perry’s torrid romance with Subway on Community:

There’s a word for that!

Heathcliff Huxtable being a “gynecologist” with his “office” in the basement of his home should have tipped us off that he had a sex dungeon that whole fucking time too.