It would be amusing if this was the first confirmed phenomenon of teleportation and the matter being teleported just happened to occupy the same space as the engine compartment. This being the result.

Right here, just outside the car! (tires screech as car peels out, and away)

In Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic, victim kills criminal.

Also:

Family Circus and Marmaduke are two of the worst things in human history, non-murder/war division.

Clearly not a fan of his teammates having a ball.

Um, did you order the code red?

“Early Animals Could’ve Caused Earth’s First Mass Extinction Simply By Existing”

Avengers v Agents of SHIELD: Rise of Peggy Carter

Since Marvel is Disney, can they use “Avengers: To Infinity War and Beyond!”?

Avengers: Infinity + n+1 War! (n = 0 to, um, infinity or till MCU collaspses onto istself.)

New (dream) lineup:

Screw the flat belly! Go you! Losing 76 pounds in 15 months is no small feat!! Congratulations and keep up the good work!

the 2005 Chicago White Sox are one of the 10 best baseball teams of all time

I believe Derek Jeter’s running catch and leap into the stands vs the Red Sox was totally overrated and not that great

The 2002 Kings Lakers series was 100% rigged by the NBA. I don’t care what anyone says.

Came for Ken Griffy’s grotesquely swollen jaw, leaving satisfied.

And it sounds like he is saying "Duck City."

"We balled like an eagle". And their mascot is the bald eagle. That's just genius.

Without a doubt that is the greatest thing I've seen since I sat down on this toilet and started playing with my handheld device.