God bless my past self, the first time a guy tried to snap my bra (or was it unhook it, can’t quite recall) I turned around in the hallway and SCREAMED at him. I got labeled crazy and the b-word, and boy howdy, did no body ever try again. Being ugly AND ornery is a pretty good defense.
The way I’m treated is so dependent upon my weight. I’m 5'5". I’ve been 200lbs and I honestly could’ve pulled off a heist then, for how unacknowledged I was. My weight determines how quickly cars stop for me at intersections, how demeaning the language is when men hit on me. I’m 10+ over my skinniest right now, and I… Read more
Thank you so much. This is amazing. As I read I am reminded of a boy who tormented me when I was in 6th grade by snapping my bra strap again and again. The taunts and laughter. How ashamed I felt that I needed a bra. How powerless I felt to stop it. That year I went from wearing soft pink sweaters and pretty skirts to… Read more
(Most) men are so easily offended by the mere sight of a pad or tampon, it’s ridiculous. Where else should you have put them? In you purse? They only like to acknowledge vaginas when it’s convenient for them, so when they’re horny. But I can understand your reaction, I used to be like that until a couple of years ago… Read more
Yes it’s so infuriating that ball-kicking is considered OFF LIMITS. If men don’t want to be kicked in the balls, maybe they should stop ASKING FOR IT by doing fucked-up shit that makes you have to kick them in the balls!
And Michael, too. My college boyfriend reprimanded me for putting pantyliner wrappers in the garbage in his bathroom because his roommate would tease him for it. I was so humiliated. I didn’t occur to me then to be pissed at him and his stupid roommate. I feel sad for my younger self, and I’ll never stop being pissed… Read more
Great piece. And may I recommend getting fat? I am completely invisible now. But nothing makes men angrier than a fat feminist who loves herself. Example number one - Lindy West. She rocks.
Thanks for pointing out the gender-inequity bullshit behind the oft-repeated truism: never hit a guy “there”. Like that area is somehow sacrosanct, but only if there’s a penis. If it’s a pussy, feel free to grab it (but only if you’re famous). Read more
I was a young woman in 1977 when I saw Star Wars, and I can’t even begin to tell you what Princess Leia meant to me. Later Carrie proved she was just as courageous and fearless as the princess she portrayed. Read more
It is one of things I love so much about the first movie. She subverts the whole damsel in distress trope. She’s like, “Alright, you’re here to rescue me. So now what, you dopes?”
I think that we’re starting to see the first major waves of mega stars from the 70s and 80s going (those who didn’t die in their youth, at least). But it’s like they’re specifically taking the game-changers, trailblazers, and larger than life heroes - the ones we held especially close to our hearts. I spent all… Read more
Thank you for everything, Carrie. For your bravery and charm and your refusal to shut up or give up. For lifting the veil off mental illness. For refusing to be ashamed. And most of all for showing my daughter that being a princess isn’t just about finding a prince. You will be so missed.