*appalling

“Well, everyone knows a book can’t turn you gay. What this book presupposes is . . . maybe it can.”

I’m not ready. Mostly cause this will force me to think about the fact that Alan Rickman is gone. His character was as close to a villain as that movie could get...and deserving of a comeuppance...but I’ll probably still cry with whatever they’ve chosen to do with his storyline. Maybe they’ll just say he moved away…

Tough Skins! Winnie the Pooh Shoes! The Smell of Popcorn! A Real Candy Counter! Huge Toy Department! School Clothes Shopping in August! 10 Speed Free Spirit Bikes! Santa Pics at Christmas! Giant Christmas Catalog to peruse with a greedy heart!

I’ll assume you’re commenting in good faith despite your use of an awful buzzword like “identity politics,” so consider this: Lots of girls are taught that video games and game development are for men. Girls Make Games is an institution designed to teach girls that hey, they can play and make video games too, which…

You think Jezebel buys Lyft ads? You don’t know how advertising works.

Look at the size of this thing:

I’m in my thirties and I absolutely love getting older. Every year I get more comfortable with myself and enjoy life more. I find more things that interest me and I know what I am and what I am not. It’s magical.

I love me some v-necks! They’re way more flattering (turtlenecks and crewnecks make me feel like the sculpture on the prow of a ship), but I’m always nervous about the depth of the v. The lingering trauma of high school dress code shaming, probably

Seriously. All that buildup and hype for the breaking story of “rich guy finds loopholes in American tax system.” YOU DON’T SAY?

When I can’t use a coupon I brought to the store, I tuck it into the shelf in case someone else comes by who can use it. I call myself the Coupon Fairy.

I like to think I’d do the same thing with hundred-dollar bills, but let’s be real. Someone else would be doing my grocery shopping.

I’d tell you what I’d be moving up from the store brand mustard.

I’m trying to imagine what my spouse and I would need to do to make $418K a year. Even if it was in 2005 dollars, that would be an entirely different existence.

Also,

hey man, I pulled the gun on mom jeans, and they are amaze

what the ever loving fuck? I wear a cardi when I’m chilly. Why would I want the shoulders cut out?

I was trying to buy a cardigan online yesterday, like a regular cardigan with buttons, and I had to sift through so many “cold shoulder cardigans” which is just obnoxious. I want my cardigans to have shoulders.

Preach

Sean Spicer needs rescuing!!! Call SEAL Team 6.

I’VE BEEN WONDERING THE SAME THING FOR SO LONG!!! this is like the only time i’ve posted, but its like you’ve written thoughts directly out of my head. the way they walk???? that is not a real thing.