Also, I am not okay with accordion shades. The 1980s called. They want your lamps back.

Right. I looked at that pic and was like “DUDE. Those are LAMPS”

I’d actually never heard the story as I was a wee baby at the time, but your comment intrigued me so I found it on Wikipedia. Go to his page then Personal Life and scroll down to 1987 Car Crash.

To be fair, it wasn’t a man. It was two women (so, almost the value of a man).

I'm cool with my boss finding my naked toddler pictures. The world hadn't told me to hate my body until I was 7, so toddler was definitely my coolest age.

I begged for morphine. BEGGED.

The memory of my child’s birth is still quite fresh in my mind. After an excruciating 2 hours of pushing, I was begging the doctor to pull her or cut her out. So, yes, I would have allowed Katy Perry, or anyone with strong enough arms, to deliver my child. Literally, anyone who could “get her out NOW”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

But does your cat have the same eye formation?

I’m not a health researcher. I haven’t researched for acid attacks professional reasons. I have been vaccinated for TB, as has my daughter. I didn’t realize how rampant it was. Which is the statement I made - I was pointing out my own ignorance and wondering if I was alone in it. I didn’t mean to prompt a rant about…

I feel like legalizing polygamy would actually make it a little easier to prosecute cases of sexual assault and pedophilia. If polygamy weren’t a secret or taboo practice overall, the lines between moral and legal wouldn't be so blurry. Am I off?

I like that. Thank you.

I’ve previously done research on acid attacks so that information, sadly, didn’t shock me. But my white face was slapped hard with privilege when I read that her brother died of Tuberculosis. Holy shit. Am I the only one who did a double-take at that? Off to google “TB” now and educate myself.

Okay, so here’s something I’ve never seen before: Apparently, David was interviewed by KHLOE Kardashian (??!!!!?) earlier this year and he stated that Alexis no longer identified as “transgender”. Instead, it sounds like “gender fluid” would’ve been more appropriate, I think. Maybe. I’m not an expert. Here’s where I…

The part that really confused me (beyond her passing, which is maddeningly sad), was the “brother, then sister, then brother” part in his Facebook post. Did I read that right? What is he talking about? I had to read it a few times to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding and I still don't fully get it.

Calling for pizza is my version of waiting in line at the DMV. It's hell.

Two times.

This is how I feel about most things that aren't cheese.

NONONONONO! This was my idea first! Dammit why don’t I learn trademark laws!?