“former ballerina” - how is this relevant to this story at all?

“He will be allowed to return to a position in a different setting”

I love this. So this week, my wife and I were driving the kid home from school when I yelped in the direction of a passing JEEP Wrangler, “Oooooh, girl. You cute!!” (windows closed, because I only catcall under my breath). As the driver passed us, my wife turned to me and dryly commented, “That’s a teenage boy, Teri”.…

Yeah. I kind of wonder: Does he really want to be president or does he just need a place to crash for a few years? I have this sneaking suspicion that another bankruptcy is around the corner for him (and not just morally).

I'm okay with that. Just as long as he loses.

I hope so. But really, all this guy has is his base right now. He’s not pulling over any undecided voters. He has a base that hates Hillary Clinton because he’s fed them this story about her being a liar. So if he admits he’s also lied, he risks losing the base (not that the majority would even care right at this…

Again, that's the point! He won't apologize or admit to lies because his base believes everything that comes out of his mouth. It's all fabricated. And they buy it! So why would he admit to lying if he doesn't have to?

Right. And for everything they seemingly don't have in common, they do appear to be on even playing fields intellectually.

No! That’s the point. His base LOVES that he’s ridiculously rich (or at least that they believe he is, though I’m not convinced). They equate money with intelligence, just proving how little of both his biggest fans tend to lack.

There was a joke there. Many people were looking for it. Congratulations. You found it.

My favorite part about this is that CNN has now picked up the story and included AN ACTUAL DEFINITION for “Rick roll”. You know, for those who just awake from a 15 year coma* and immediately managed to navigate to CNN’s website to determine what they’ve missed.

Or all those times, in the middle of the night, that you’re watching her sleep on the baby monitor feed and thinking “I wish she’d wake up. I just wanna cuddle her” and then she does and you’re like “FUCK. NOW I GOTTA GO IN THERE?!?!”

I disagree. Anyone who is speaking in front of an entire nation should be working with speech writers to determine, in the very least, the best delivery of the speech. Honestly, most people just aren’t public speakers. People have a hard time stringing words together to form cohesiveness. For once, I don’t actually…

I don't know her.

You're too much!

Do you think they really shut it down BECAUSE OF US?!! I'm so honored. Like, I just peed a little.

Was totally going to buy a set when my government paycheck came in next month.

Ohmygod! I thought I was the only one who ever had this problem! Here’s our solution: My wife’s towel is easily identified as “the one with the bleach stain”, daughter’s towel is “the one with the grape Popsicle stain” and mine is “the one with the giant hole where my give a fucks used to be”. Problem solved.

“edited with a Vitamix”!!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasps* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

“Do Not Call This Botched Medical Experiment A Sandwich” or a vagina.