I still have my VCR!

And if she can walk into a room while masturbating, I’m sure she can make wind-chimes-for-genitals work.

Fun fact: cousin Ira has been married to Buffy’s mom for over 30 years.

Considering Sean McVay, who’s led the Rams from worst-to-first in the NFC West, is 31, a 20-year old college wonderkind coach doesn’t seem that far-fetched.

Maybe he was, like me, a fan of former Cincinnati Reds third baseman Chris Sabo. Loved that eyewear!

Since “GND” is also an abbreviation for “Girl Next Door”, a GND film series implies a porn-ier theme.

I still have a VCR, and tapes with a collection of scenes I taped off certain kinds of videos I rented. Some of these scenes can’t even be found online, and though the internet is bursting at the seams with these kinds of scenes, I still like the tapes for nostalgia, and if my home internet goes down.

A true (North) American hero!

At the very least, people who hear this should ask for details. “Why was she so awful to work with?” Make them work harder on their lies.

“...to Tom Petty and The Pretenders”

Cho once did a standup bit where she goes to a neighbor to borrow some cooking equipment and the neighbor asks "Oh, do you need a wok?", and Cho sarcastically replies "Sure, and some thousand-year old eggs if you got them! You stupid bitch!".

Oh, when I watch a years-old TV episode, like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on Netflix, I often visit the A.V. Club recap and give upvotes to comments I like. In the case of Star Trek: DS9, I already read the recap, and have to check if I'd already upvoted the comment years ago, back when I was just Beige Alert.

A lot of comedians don't like people. Can you blame them? We're pretty terrible.

Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one!?!?

Like Johnny Cash would ever have to try to look cool or badass.

Gamebooks, the merging of the Choose Your Own Adventure books that I loved, with RPG-esque gameplay. Since I mostly read as a kid and didn't find friends who played D&D, they were perfect for me. Eventually, video games evolved enough to take over for gamebooks, and some new apps are essentially gamebooks that do all…

Beige.

Is there a shortage of American flags in the south?

No, it's Paul Hollywoo.

"Hecubus, did you see "Presumed Innocent"?
"Yes I did, and the wife killed her!
"But, I haven't seen the movie yet! *points and whispers* "Evil!"