It's true! We're so lame!

"not the smiley face you put on when fantasizing about mass murder."

"Might as well jump!", indeed.

Well, now you have more room for it in your wallet.

I would have sympathized with the guy when I was younger. Now I just think it's on him for staying in such a situation. We make fun of Dan Savage for this in the "Savage Love" comments, but I wonder if his "hire a sex worker" advice would do some good. Maybe clear the guy's head, give him some perspective, "Hey, this…

I laughed out loud all throughout the sketch. Though now I'm wondering how she makes more money than her husband if she only reads at a 6th-grade level…

Does it really matter when you're in so much debt (which Aziz made sadly hilarious).

"Maybe something like "We're delighted with the crowds that came out to see the Inauguration in person and the many more who watched it live on television around the world. It's a strong reminder to this administration that we serve the people."

And Eleanor finds Chidi himself to be attractively "jacked". You figure Eleanor gets bored with mail stud and tries to have an affair with Chidi. Eventually, they piece it together.

Agreed, and like he gave a quick telepathic text to his crony: "I think she's on to us; come in dramatically and tell them they all can stay!"

I 'm sure Jason meant women, instead of girls, with pigtails eating lollipops. Which is still really skeevy (in a sexy way) but a million times better.

Put up a framed picture of them!

The biggest Celebrity of all!

A commenter who tries to convince himself of the myth that over three million illegal immigrants voted.

That sounds like "holding children's health care hostage to blackmail Dems to do what they want", which, if true, is less evil than getting rid of kid's health care outirght. But not by much.

I watched Siskel & Ebert at the time, and I believe they gave it two thumbs up. Shows how strongly Chicagoans worshipped Michael Jordan.

"We have forgotten to masturbate…"

Topher told the story of his name on Letterman once. People would call him Chris but he didn't want it shortened like that. So they'd say "Chris", and he'd add "…topher" to get them to say the whole name. Which just led to people calling him "Topher". Then he finished the story with a look on his face that said "Yeah,…

They were called "gams" back then.

Would. Bang.