I imagine Gilbert Gottfried got really good at talking women into bed, because it's not like he can rely on good looks or animal magnetism to get the job done.

Betamax ignored the first rule of new media: always embrace porn.

The last name "Long" is kinda wasted on porn actresses.

I know what you're thinking, but relax! None of the three remaining Monkees died! Of course, the A.V. Club lists two obituaries (cuz 2016), but it's not for any Monkees!

Yeah, yeah, A.V. Club, we all know Michael Nesmith's mom invented liquid paper. We are exactly the subset of people who would know that Michael Nesmith's mom invented liquid paper. No need to tell us where his inheritance came from.

Gianna Michaels was made for 3D.

Please don't remind 2016 that Roger Waters is still alive.

Amber Rayne? Dammit…

I would put "unborn baby told me what to do, so I did it" at least a little higher than "God told me what to do…"

So the mockery of his tiny little hands has now spread to his arms? I'm down with that.

My Name Is URL.

They were going to first call the league Beautiful Ladies of Wrestling, but changed it for some reason. (I stole this joke from Harlan Coben).

Just remember, for the first 10-18 years of your life, it was you who threw temper tantrums when you didn't get what you wanted, when you wanted it. And your dad had to put up with it.

The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins.

From Wayne Allyn Root's Wikipedia:

"Have Dog with a Blog killed."

Whoa, his name is Reinhold?! Major Night Court flashbacks here.

Wow, I did Nazi that coming!

She was taking off her top for America, dammit!!! USA! USA! USA!

I didn't even know Murgatroyd could be a name. I thought it was just something Snagglepuss improvised.