If your grandparents are kind and treat people with respect, but still use antiquated terms that they grew up with, that seems like an "eh, good enough" situation.

Chess stop with the puns already!

*posthumously high-fives John Lennon*

As in "peace of ass"?

2.49 rounds down to 2, and 2.49 + 2.49 = 4.98, which rounds up to 5. Q.E.D.

Featuring an epic twenty-minute rant/song performed by Charlene Amoia (Wendy the Waitress!)

To me, the best, most Adam Driver-esque part* of his performance: during the Golden Globes sketch, when Vanessa Bayer tells him to be a man for once and attack Keenan, and he makes a ridiculous, blustering ass of himself right before charging.

Cecily Strong in that Jasmine outfit, followed by Cecily Strong in that cute French outfit.

Just wanted to point out that the Cubs traded him away right before his prime, and then laugh at them. Haha.

People…started living longer?

Breckin Meyer starred in Inside Schwartz! And now that I've used that most useless of facts, may it fly from my mind, never to be thought again.

Well, it's easy to avoid being called "little" when you're standing next to Paul Simon…

She'll always be Works With Carlos Girl to me.

Holy crap, James Badge Dale's mom was Anita Morris?!?!

Or, he could point out the most right-wing congressmen, start talking about how much he likes them and how well they actually get along when the cameras are off. Then later, we can watch their constituents back home go nuts and kick them out of office in November.

Did you see how Aaron Rodgers was all happy and smiling and oh also playing well? Good to see that again.

Our drug policies waste billions and ruin lives by locking too many people up in prison.But that doesn't ameliorate El Chapo's actions. It can be two awful things.

Let me guess. The only heart he can't heal … is his own.

I thought Gregson's telling Watson about the novel might've ended with Joan asking "Are there any scenes…between the two characters…", then silence. Gregson struggles to meet her eye while giving a stoic nod, and Joan just exclaims a long, low "Uuhooh".

"Jaundice epidemic sweeps Miami." Good one.