Honestly, smuggling drugs in America is a job old white guys could definitely do better than Mexicans, for ... reasons.

And he’s actually studying! And in such a Jason way, too.

He hates illegal immigrants (and, I’m sure, any immigrants whose skin is darker than his), AND Native Americans? Screw him.

I’m only half-joking when I say bigotry is stupid because, if you just get to know someone for five minutes, you can find something about them to hate.

Because he’s married to Emily Blunt, and you’re not? That’s my reason.

Just one of many reasons Rubio should do those things.

In fact, forget the blow and guns and capitalism!

“...but you rape ONE cow while playing violin, and you’re a violinist cow-rapist!”

To the left, to the left...side of the bracket?

Oh, and best of all, he didn’t call Lavinia by name, he called her “Murderer”.

My favorite part of the parade was the news graphic saying “Mayor urges calm; will lead by example” immediately followed by him passing by in the parade, lying comatose in bed.

Gal Gadot as mustachioed Harvey Korman would leave my penis very confused.

I remember Pop-Up Video saying there were people on set to make sure the kids weren’t exploited, then snarked that there wasn’t anyone to make sure the women weren’t exploited. Okay, that’s funny, and true, but they were adults. If they wanted to play (stripper) teachers, that’s their call.

Well, “with a minimum of effort” seems like the most appropriate way to watch Clerks. Surely it’s how Randall would do it.

I kinda wish they didn’t set up Annie with either guy. Just have none of the guys show any interest in her (which would probably be the most implausible part of a show with ghosts and time travel), and just have Annie, alone, locked in a grudge-match-to-the-death with her cat.

If I scrape together enough capital, I can buy the A.V. Club?

Stupid sexy Nick Cave!

A perfectly “cromulent” discipline.

“Stop, foul muggers! Or I shall make you my Cumberbitches!” *breaks up mugging*

*puts head down, whispers “racist tweets”*