Looking forward to Rise of Dispatch being silly nonsense but everyone insisting it’s the worst Dispatch in forty years despite everyone still having seen Attack of the Dispatch.

Give this person a job.

If people on Twitter aren’t horny for that fucking spider, I don’t know the world as well as I think I do.

NEAT.

Shit, this two year old fishing trip has LEGS!

Tying people up with his...oh, ropes. Just ropes.

I only hang out with me because I want to fuck me.

I’m by no means a Weezer afficionado but it was really great to read someone writing with passion and eloquent enthusiasm about something they love.

Write it on a cake.
Then have sex with the cake.

Pretty subtle, right?

Jurassic Park!

I’m sure I’ve been on the receiving end of this interaction more than once.
Maybe I will cut my hair...

A more pressing question: how much to prevent the wookiee from fucking you?

If I ever hit even 'fairly online' I have to have a word with myself.

You have too much faith in humanity. It would be called 'Tik Tok Talk' and everyone would be disappointed.

Diarrhea doesn’t give you clout, that’s an urban myth.

I could not bear to look at it.
It was a monstrosity.
Fun episode though.

Arguably one of the greatest comic writers of all time. 

Correct response.

As a person with bipolar disorder, I’ve had some bad episodes and I find the prospect that, as a result of any one of them, someone could control my life in this manner absolutely terrifying.

If she’s prescribed Lithium she’s been diagnosed as Bipolar or MDD.