Working for a land conservation nonprofit and partnering with the land management agencies, you would not believe the complaints people have. My favorite was the gentleman who repeatedly called, demanding to know what our plan was to stop the earthquakes in the region.

I can picture a dumbass redneck racist construction worker voting for this plan because he hates Mexicans, but then crying like a baby if it ever got implemented because his boss had to slash his wages to keep the company competitive against the new army of slaves sucking-up all the plum government building contracts.

I am Mexican. I for random reasons have documents. But I have many relatives and friends who are EXACTLY like me in every possible measure but have no documents. I do not consider myself any different from an undocumented Mexican but I can and will vote and I will make sure that me and my kids NEVER forget this. For…

They’ve heard of exactly one Amendment.

You know, when the truth finally comes out, we may not like it, but it’s a relief to finally know what’s really going on (inside your enemy’s mind).

No, no, it wasn’t about slavery tho, it was about heritage. ;D

True. So, surely we can organize something similar for the others? Obviously Ted Cruz’s should involve having an extremely punchable face... Oh! Maybe we can make “Cruz” synonymous to having sex in a position that means you don’t have to look at your partner’s face because you would just want to punch it.

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

I’m ignoring instructions because I DON’T PLAY BY THE RULES

This is how I feel, too. I’m female, but I’ve always been ridiculously sensitive to heat (I’m also overweight, but the heat sensitivity long precedes that). Cold I can deal with pretty easily—put on more layers! Wrap up in a blanket!—but short of air conditioning, with heat you’re just stuck. Not to mention that while…

I’m female, and I agree with you. It’s unfair to have it warm, since putting on sweater works, but peeling off clothes isn’t an option.

Hi! Overweight dude here. I’m a big guy... 6’2”, 225 lbs...

Even worse - it’s not even an uninformed decision, but a misinformed one. It isn’t that they simply don’t know about the subject, but they have actively researched, been taken in by faulty data and appeals to emotion, and come to a thoroughly investigated but wrong conclusion. Much harder to disabuse than an ignorant…

This is it exactly. Your child, your choice? Fine. But if you choose to opt out of the part of the social contract where you vaccinate your kid so that everyone else is protected from them spreading pathogens, you also have to opt out of the part where you get your child educated for free in a group environment where…

Really? I thought it was buying the coffee shop and running it into the ground.

PhD student in literature. I go where the money is :)

As as dad, I can assure you - it’s all we have. We have nothing left. Please... please leave us the dad jokes.

Two of my biggest fears are 1. dying on an amusement park ride and 2. dying in a manner that would make people laugh inadvertently when they heard it.

...goddammit, I know that’s just a calculated political move but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t warm the rusty, empty and necrotic cockles of my useless, cold heart.