holy shit! You can buy dogs that bite Lena Dunham? Sign me up.

Anytime an adult uses the word “haters” to defend themselves, I automatically assume they are in the wrong. It’s a bullshit word used by bullshitters.

As an individual who, in adulthood, forever suffers as a result of being overworked in their teenage years, I agree. I played virtually every sport, and to a fiercely competitive degree, and also modeled. I had a relative who signed up as a coach for whatever events that they could to ensure that my training regime…

Fuck sports for under-age girls. They ruin their bodies, they suffer abuse, all for what? To say they’re the best girl under 15 to do sports stuff? Seriously this has been going on for so long, ti’s pathetic. How many of them are doing it due to insane family pressure? Is it worth never developing properly because of…

Beg to differ, friend.

I like the sentiment, but it’s obviously Hector Villanueva.

Ya know, if a backup catcher from Chicago was going to get unreasonably famous, it should have been Ron Karkovice.

We are transmitting from the year one, nine, nine, nine.

“What if C.S. Lewis Fell Down And Hit His Head on the Corner of the Coffee Table?”

I also love that it goes out of the way to say that it is absolutely not the thing that made him a best-selling author. “These other things made him a best-selling author. This book has none of those things! Buy it!”

“Shout out to Vince Young, performing foreplay by sucking on titties and what not” - @GeorgeWallace

Speaking of human sexuality courses: a friend had a class at UT with Vince Young and when the professor asked one day for people’s ideas of foreplay, Vince said “that’s like sucking on titties and what not”

I heard Mike Zimmer wanted to convert him to fullback, but he was completely against the switch.

“I have never seen so many more sore losers as there are today.”

Also, President Trump made an outstanding catch to keep a Pats drive alive. The ball was tipped, he was surrounded by Falcons players and it looked like the ball hit the ground. Upon further review, it was revealed that President Trump’s massive hands prevented the ball from hitting the turf.

For Immediate Release:

I fear most folks will fail to understand your zinger.

Another good tweet.