Calling out Neil DeGrasse-Tyson? You're making a powerful enemy, Teti. You'll never look at the sky in this town again.

Contract Negotiation: An Alec Baldwin Adventure

Rutina Wesley sounds like a minor Harry Potter character.

After Tormato they stopped technically being Yes and became Yes in name only.

Overlooking the whole political debate surrounding the movie (which I find painfully boring anyway) and the breathless thinkpieces telling you how you should feel, American Sniper is just okay. The fact that it's made this much money is completely absurd, if unsurprising.

I'm currently at work and I pray I get out early enough to hit the liquor store before it closes. The idea of waiting out this storm without a supply of booze is terrifying.

I saw this when it came out and the only thing I remember was one of the characters getting sucked up into a giant Martian tornado and having his limbs/head ripped off in the process. I was nine years old and it was just movie magic.

Strange, because in my experience, the past winners of Last Comic Standing have always gone on to have long, energetic, and artistically fulfilling careers.

I have some questions of my own:

How about another Hellraiser?

Are those the only options?

No, the market has just been flooded with attractive foreigners hailing from Commonwealth nations that will work for peanuts.

The Muppets should have some sort of union clause that bars all entertainers from ever singing with other puppet-based lifeforms.

Wait, this guy isn't David Bowie

I truly don't understand why people seem to hate In the Mouth of Madness. It's fucking brilliant.

How far he's come from the little drum-playing waif in Love, Actually.

Whoa! We got a real Pirates of the Caribbean superfan over here!

Mark Kermode described a scene with Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley kissing as "two pieces of Ikea furniture mating."

I liked the bad guy who had eyebrows like a cartoon character. He was fun.

That whole book is such a treasure. Reading it makes me pine for the days of Onion past.