My soul-crushing internship's done in like two weeks and I've pretty much checked out. I have an interview for a real job on Friday so this company can basically suck it. I'm thinking of going out with a bang by either taking a shit on the boss' desk, stealing a computer, or setting something (or someone) on fire.

I just hit 1,000. Am I cool, guys?

Wait, Tity Boi, are we the same person? I can't say I've ever blown a load on my own face but otherwise you pretty much described my high school girlfriend. Blowjob-initiated tears and all.

That's a sick shirt that proves you had (have) good taste.

Bro, he was fuckin' hilarious in all the The Hangovers so I'm sure this'll be awesome.

It's comforting to know that Duck the Halls is keeping our nation's rich tradition of TV novelty albums alive.

197 minutes seems . . . excessive.

"Hey I've got an idea: why not just bring back Boss?"
- Kelsey Grammer

Haven't you heard?! It's not as awe-inspiring a show as The Sopranos!!

Yeah, you know, take the train in, have a couple of Bloody Marys at brunch, walk around Soho for a while, collect a bounty, then head back up to Bronxville in time for HBO. Sounds kinda nice.

And weird teenagers masturbating furiously to Cumberbatch gifs

"Good Jedi make good lightsabers."

As someone who's slowly killing himself with booze and cigarettes, I can attest to the fact that I started drinking Canadian Club because it is (a) cheap and (b) on Boardwalk Empire. I stuck with it because it's pretty good for how inexpensive it is and it's easy to drink large quantities of it.

He also did the fantastic Ghost Dog score. It's hard to find but well worth tracking down.

I prefer the original

I really liked it. Though I think I enjoyed his score to The Master a bit more.

Parking Slave I would be a shitshow. Fett would probably want to leave it at a Metro-North station in Westchester and take the train in.

Good call on Aaronofsky and Mansell.

Rank 'em, AV Club. And add anybody else I'm forgetting.

I was secretly hoping for Fran Drescher