"Oh, they're always eating candy in Shelbyville. They love the sweet taste."
"Hey look! Someone's attractive cousin!"
"This town is a part of us all . . . a part of us all . . . a part of us all! Sorry to repeat myself, but it will help you remember."
"There's a-doins a-transpirin'!!"

Since when do they let black people into Hollywood?

I THINK YOU MEAN THANOS

Excited to see how they work R2's Shark Repellent Bat Spray into the movie.

Though I suppose calling him a "man" is kind of generous. At this point he's really just a pair of suspenders held up by a sentient coat rack.

I still find it amazing that this man has been married eight times.

I barely even have cocktail napkin doodles for my real career.

If you didn't catch it, Tim and Eric's Halloween wrap-up show was pretty much the perfect take down.

Who knew being a hypeman could be so lucrative?

The future!

My cousins describe everything on facebook as "AMAZEBALLS!!" and I'm seriously considering unfriending them.

STOP DROID-SHAMING

Vaguely related but I think there's some EU storyline about how the red droid that "has a bad motivator" was actually force-sensitive and literally sabotaged itself so that Luke would take R2 instead, because it "felt" that R2 was cosmically significant or whatever.

It looks like they're about to run train on the little scamp.

Nothing says laugh riot like geopolitical brinkmanship

As a rule of thumb, I'm pro weird chip flavors, as long as they're done well. In the words of Michael Ian Black on Mike and Tom Eat Snacks, here, when it comes to crazy, fun flavors in the snack game, "we're letting these goddamn Asians run away with it." Step it up, America.

*turns purple*

FREAK

We watched Cromwell in seventh grade and I got sent out of the room for standing up and screaming, "IT'S OBI-WAN KENOBI!!!!" when Alec Guinness first appeared on screen.

How you gonna say the nay-no to watching Pootie Tang in class?