“Then his brain-OS crashes and he stands frozen, arms dangling uselessly, while he reboots.”

Cmon, that shit had to be staged for maximum hilarity. NOBODY is that fucking retarded.

Wait, wait, wait ...

I vote we wait until we can get printers to work reliably and work up from there.

“Eventually, fully autonomous cars won’t let this sort of thing happen.”

There’s quite a bit of elision and misinformation presented here. I truly don’t have the energy to dig into all of it, but let’s take on the scare-quoted oxybenzone and Vitamin A, for example. Retinyl palmitate, the natural form of Vitamin A that is used in sunscreens, has been proven safe by multiple rigorous,…

I legit am crying at my desk rn.

OMG PEOPLE GOT NEW JOBS IN THE PAST 4 YEARS! ESCANDALO!

I don’t care that TMZ gets stuff wrong, which they frequently do. What makes me mad is that they NEVER own up to their errors. Never a disclaimer, never an update, never an acknowledgement that a mistake was made. They just delete it and move on.

I’m gay and watched the Diane Sawyer interview with my big brother. Bless his heart, he kept looking over at me and asking “Yo bro, you had to deal with this?”, and I’d gently say “No, same community; different experiences”. It was honestly adorable.

“how am i supposed to eat my french fries?”

I have had so many terrible biscuits! but you have to cut Maron some slack, for an alcoholic in the morning any kind of carb tastes like God's own ejaculate.

Women carry babies differently though. I know some women who said they barely felt their pregnancies at all and never got sick.

Backhand compliment much?

...has a killer writing staff.

Awww, snap! Take that successful female comedienne!

Christ this woman has been killing it lately with these bits. I love watching her rise: it just keeps getting better.

Now several young brides from Kilkenny

I did a project on her mother Katharine Houghton Hepburn for work, and both Katharines were the bomb. The actress had some wonderful quotations about her mother and her work and being around all these women as she grew up. My favorite is: “Mother and her friends were all very advanced. It never really occurred to me…