At least he was able to fulfill his childhood dream of being a conductor on a train.

Way to fuck up the Browns draft position, Mayfield.

‘Barn find’ is the colloquial term for finding a rare/old/cool car that has been stored inside. Whether it be a barn or a garage or an attached garage or a detached garage or an out-building or a sugar shack or a shed or a chicken coop or a cow-shed or a greenhouse or a root cellar or a silo or a stable or a well…

I’ll do you one better. Here’s how this shit is going to go down.

That’s about Oslo as anyone can go.

I say this kindly; you need to prepare yourself for Kavanaugh being confirmed and before the midterms. You also need to prepare yourself that there is definite possibility that Democrats fall short of taking the house back let alone the senate.

You might think the Timberwolves’ dream of turning the franchise around are over, but it’s the Bulls who are really finnished.

A big old fuck you to all the assholes who didn’t vote in 2016 because “both parties are the same”.

No, these things are important and we need to rush to fill vacancies on the court as fast as possible. Just ask Supreme Court Justice Merrick Garland.

Is there a reason Deadspin stopped filing to “beeves” and started filing to “beef”? It happened around the same time home runs stopped being called “dongs” and started being called “dingers.” I don’t appreciate the pandering to the mainstream that’s going on around here. Up with beeves and dongs! Down with beef and…

If only those kids had good fathers in the home and didn't listen to that violent country music!

Possible diagnoses:
Pubonic Plague
Staff Infection
Boneitis
Sackardia
Ballemia
Nutrosis
Dongue Fever
Tooleremia
Dicklampsia
Scrotrosy

“Dear Penthouse,”

Internet Genius Invents Self-Hoisting Petard

These fucking guys. I’d rather die than watch that video, Samer.

Jimmy Butler is the only instance where he messed with the bulls, and instead got the opposite end of the horns.

OR—hear me out—just use the USB port on the front of the system.

INFINITE ENERGY.

OR—hear me out—just use the USB port on the front of the system.

INFINITE ENERGY.

Yeah, but whether we leave it in such a state that there is a future beyond our lifespan makes a difference.

Yeah but then the price would be $100.15.

Yeah but then the price would be $100.15.

Since this also happened to a young college student in Iowa, I’m sure the crowd that was upset about the murder of Mollie Tibbetts will be up in arms about this as well.