Are you kidding, I just found out yesterday that my wife of 18 years has had a vagina this whole time.

Unless you work at McDonald’s or Wal-Mart, most of the jobs in the United States require you to be sedentary in order to perform them.

The downtrodden majority will always find an “other” responsible for their own shortcomings. Sure, you dropped out of high school, got caught raping a pig, and have a baseline BAC of 0.06, but you would have been a millionaire fighter pilot if it weren’t for them migrant workers stealing all the thankless jobs.

Superb.

I would imagine the EXTREME VETTING logo would be yellow text over a field of turquoise with a purple drop shadow, and the text has little bits of confetti blowing off of it.

Hey man, I was hungry and covered in wood shavings.

Speaking of Hitler and tacos....

I was avoiding the kids this weekend by hanging some doors at the house; I broke for lunch and hit Taco Bell. While I was placing my order, some lovely family of 4 arrived in a rusty Fart Cart and came bumbling in - Dad, Mom, and two grimy pre-school-aged kids.

The father was wearing a…

I know what you mean. Vern was a hero!

Or Ernest movies in general.

When the hell are they going to make all initiated contact to the head illegal, period?

There is no reason to be hitting someone in the head, other than to injure.

The inclusion of Vance Astro makes me wonder if they meant to include Starhawk but somebody got confused.

He was a pretty big deal in the War of Kings event a few years ago, but other than that...?

Pete Buttigieg is the real deal, but likely not entrenched enough to become DNC chair. Educated at Harvard and Oxford, he’s a 35-year-old Rhodes Scholar Naval Officer who happens to be openly gay in the community that became internationally infamous for refusing to serve pizza at gay weddings. As the original Bernie…

Burgers come from a can/They were put there by a man/In a factory downtown...

To be honest, that’s what the people behind the endless parade of atrocities are counting on. Part of that is installing comically incompetent oafs as their touts, ones who sell subscriptions to “alternative facts” and make obvious errors in every aspect of their tenure. While we are all busy laughing at them, the…

President Munson. I like it.

I don’t see the problem. They said their deepest apologizes. Later on, their deepest tried watching the Grammys but had to go to bed because it’s a school night.

A Grand Wizard, indeed.

People look at me side-eyed when I say that DeVos’ vision is the first step in implementing a caste system in the United States, but that is exactly what it is.

When the public school down the street withers and dies because of a lack of funding due to voucher programs, the unregulated for-profit school that opens in…

The fact that Bannon slipped himself into the NSC on an order Trump signed without reading, and a week later Bannon is still hanging around the NSC, with no outcry, no pause, no “what the fuck?” from anyone inside or outside the administration is just ridiculous and frankly, shameful.

I used to think we were about to…