Give them both a trophy for trying, bringing flair.

This! The purposely inattentive should pay, or at the very least, have a momentary locus for their befuddlement.

Just don’t do it with perishables, because that’s a dick move.

To be fair, AT&T does flood every neighborhood with that 2WIRE horseshit.

To be fair, there have NEVER been as many outlets for whining as there are today, and fair or not, the millennials are most closely associated with those outlets.

That said, there’s probably never been a generation more needlessly dissected and inspected and (catered-to is not the word... targeted?) than millennials,…

That was nothing like a routine hit; maybe take Coyle’s stick out from behind Keith and you might be on to something, but then, if Coyle’s stick wasn’t there, his ‘check’ in this instance becomes ineffectual and Keith doesn’t lose his shit over it.

I’ll put it this way, year-over-year, Keith logs more ice time than…

But let’s be sure to give Coyle a warm handjob for trapping Keith’s legs then knocking him backwards, because there’s nothing inherently dangerous in THAT.

It’s like they confused Batman with Moon Knight, who himself is often accused of being a Batman knock-off, despite the fact he has done explicitly non-Batman things such as carve little moons into the faces of people he beats up, or occasionally cut someone’s face off and wear it.

He went through a lot of the same things, and it’s going to suck if Chris Pratt ever stops being the anti-Cavill.

If you took away every stat Barry Bonds racked up on juice, he’d still be a 1st ballot Hall of Famer. He made his own choices, but I wonder if he’d have made those EXACT choices had the entirety of the baseball world not steamrolled past him to gawk at Sosa/McGwire.

Studebaker.

The damage Reagan did to this country while in office is still being felt today, and will be felt for decades to come. The same people who laud him as one of the greatest presidents of all time are also the ones who shit their pants at the mention of terrorism, and they don’t understand why that makes them incredibly…

It’s funny, because the NFL is often referred to as the No Fun League on account of its disdain for celebrations wove right into its WRITTEN rulebook, but somehow baseball’s UNWRITTEN rulebook is a Klan-fueled dog whistle.

If you’re going to posit that “you don’t disrespect the opposition by showboating” is a policy…

How about, act like the thing you just did is the thing you’re being paid to do and you are expected to have done it before and possibly do it again in the future?

Instead of “HOLY SHIT THE THING I JUST DID IS THE GREATEST THING THAT’S EVER BEEN DONE I CAN NEVER REPLICATE IT NEVER NOT EVER I AM OVERWHELMED WITH THE…

Yeah, I would figure since, you know... Safelite repair, Safelite replace.

Sounds suspiciously like Indiana.

That shot was in the air longer than some punts. That was insane.

I love how the red pickup pulling the trailer just pauses, then moves on.

Mean, but funny.

While Arrieta (deservedly) got most of the credit for the 2015 Cubs’ solid second half, there was a stretch there where it seemed like Fowler was the catalyst for every rally or offensive outburst.

This. There was no shittier decade for cars than 1975-1985. Not only were the models themselves shitty, but then the car itself would be brown, or pea green, or burnt orange.

How bad were cars during that span? So bad that somebody thought “Why not introduce the Yugo?”

Combines two of my favorite things - Noctua & Lego - the only manufacturers who purposely make tan plastic stuff.