...and to overvalue the contribution of ‘entrepreneurs’ in comparison to the labor that enables their enterprise, the consumers that support both, and the government that regulates them all is to display a stunningly incomplete understanding of what makes capitalism work. If you have any doubt of that, look at the…

“We need innovators and wealth creators far more than we need public sector workers.”

Yeah, right. We tried wealth creators, they quote-unquote “created wealth” then they created lobbyists so they wouldn’t actually have to participate in the ‘trickle down’ part of that tired-ass economic strawman. One million poors…

He spent maybe 8 minutes in MSPaint. You have time.

Emmanuel has been hot and cold on this thing throughout, so it's not surprising that he denied 24/7 permit. I was just kind of hoping the Ricketts would have moved the team to the suburbs, then everybody would get what they deserved. The rooftop owners, the franchise, and the baseball fans. I'm sure people would…

Actually, this whole incident is kind of endearing. Think of the last time a friend confided that they found someone attractive; chances are they used language a lot more coarse than "gosh, she's beautiful."

"That is totally cool-as a shop owner I'm going to start doing that."

Yeah, look at the wall this guy built. Can you imagine the CPU he would design if he had just played Minecraft instead?

"And anyone that barks out the punchline to a joke when you're telling it to the crowd should be throttled."

Actually, I hate both sides of that situation. Unfortunately if it weren't for painfully predictable schlock, there wouldn't be enough material around to keep the industry going.

"Mistake #6 - Laughing at your own joke. It's even more of a mistake when your joke wasn't that funny."

What a smart girl, putting the sanctity of marriage before the security of divorce. Oh wait, she's pregnant? Bawahahahaha

So if I understand this correctly, the Colts were merely getting beaten on the field, then Tom Brady had to go and touch their balls, which resulted in a humiliating public blowout.

Things like half-time adjustments, playing with the lead, getting the ball back off turnovers, shit like that, might have had something to do with Brady's stunning second half performance. But whatever, they certainly weren't cheating at all, no sir. Noooo sir.

Maybe Brady has always played with underinflated balls and the Colts were the first to openly whine about it? Either way, congratulations on your totally legitimate, in-no-way-suspicious victory over an admittedly-overmatched team. New England certainly deserved the win, and they deserve whatever they get against…

First things first, the Colts would have lost that game had it been played in a dome at the equator - they proved time and again throughout the regular season that they were a second-tier team.

I'm guessing (and I am just guessing) that his cold wet hands/gloves probably had a lot to do with that. Plus, they're all 500-year-old lawyers; with the notable exception of Ed Hochuli, an inflated football is probably the heaviest thing they've lifted all week, so they aren't going to notice a couple PSI difference.

And if it blinds everyone for a quarter mile behind you, it's their fault for living around assholes.

Sometimes, people in little flea vehicles can't be bothered to let you set up and complete your pass. But, the dude in the truck should have seen them swinging around his right and backed off a little. Not because they deserved the space, but anyone dumb enough to pass on the right is dumb enough to stomp the brakes…

I'd pay a small fee to take that test, having no intention of ever buying the car.

I felt bad for the guy until I read his LinkedIn profile. I don't care if I needed a single vendor to stick-build my nuclear power plant and set up its network infrastructure, I still wouldn't trust that project to a company called "Infinite Crystalline Enterprises, Inc."

This, x10000. Though, I have used the dog breeding argument before and had it thrown back at me as an example of intelligent design, so it's possible creationists don't understand where puppies come from.