An oldie but goodie, and appropriate for the turtle

You’re right, coach. When I think “accountability,” I think Michigan State.

“The rapist, in this case, has made a lifelong commitment to live and take care of the person, so it is a little different,” Carlson says, referring to underage marriage.

Did we watch the same thing? Amber was perfection of course, but I thought Seth was spot-on with his humble-eloquent white savior timing.

So...who should we elect then? Howard Schultz? What are you even going on about? You go on this diatribe about how no one’s learned their lesson from 2016 and how politicians can’t be trusted and yet offer no better solution. Sounds to me like you’re searching for Trump Lite, another clueless moron who thinks they can…

There was a girl I knew once, freshman year of college. We were at a party but the two of us ended up in the corner talking over some drinks. We talked and talked and just really hit it off. Eventually, it turned flirtatious. Slowly, but perfectly flirtatious. As the party started to wind down, she invited me back to…

When asked what effect this would have on his Big 3 team, co-captain Glen Davis said, “Look, obviously Corey is going to be away for awhile and we all have to step up. If that means working harder at our 6-pointers, or making sure we capitalize on our free throws from the aligator pit or making sure that no one steps…

One time I saw this older, white-haired guy getting all handsy in a restaurant booth with a young companion who looked about half his age. The whole vibe was really creepy. So I called the police to report a child molestation in progress, and dang if it wasn’t John & Cindy McCain on their first date.

The last thing LaVar Ball needs is to be around more Suns that don’t play basketball well.

Guess what? Peet’s is really good coffee.

That’s just good hustle by Witten, no way that thing fits in a standard trash can in one piece.

You forgot to switch burners before you replied to yourself, silly 

Some men just want to watch the world burn. But even the Joker thinks this is fucking absurd.

1) I don’t understand how me saying “I really want the GOP to suffer, they’re vile, the Dems needs to step up their game” = me being a card carrying Fox News watcher, but alright. I would prefer the Dems go a strong left, and leave this weird centrist/right-of-center policy they’ve been working on since Reagan - so I…

Steelers Fan Eats A Headbutt 

For the far right, it’s Schrödinger’s Holocaust. It both never happened and is something to aspire to.

Okay, I’m not to rise to the bait that he’s laying out here. I mean, yes, I think his “canon” should definitely include, at minimum, Ursula K. LeGuin’s short story “The Ones Who Walked Away from Omelas” and Ta-Nehisi Coates’ article “Fear of a Black President”, if not his book Between the World and Me. I also would…

This is the real problem, I think. Tucker Carlson is 49, which means he was . . . 22 or so when the Soviet Union collapsed. Megyn Kelly is 47, which means she was 20.

Better People, Better Ingredients, Klapa John’s

Papa Don’t Preazza