Keep dreaming, bucko.

First you get the balls. Then you get the money. Then you get the women.

Okay, if you insist. But last time I was hit with so many lawsuits.

Natalie looks strange without large swathes of her hair shaved away down into the wood.

Forks are for book-finishers. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you.

That was implicit.

"Eat Jon Hamm"

Or sex!

They were hipsters! It was hipster-on-hipster hate crime!

You say that now …

He looked old in Reservoir Dogs! By The Sopranos he looked like a corpse!

Ugh! Louis CK is so over!

The one that talks about sex all the time.

Camgirls, then?

THAT'S NOT THE LYRICS YOU FIEND!

Ian McShane being in some new show is the ultimate cocktease.

That's definitely worth a handjob … I mean upvote.

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller.

"Why are you such a dick, Chet?"

Snap!