Funding a full time nanny for a year is BALLER. On my significantly less baller largesse, I funded one week’s worth of the post-partum doula my sister hired to help her after her second. That was a gift I was very happy to give.

I would have loved an L.L. Bean boat tote filled with essentials.

This is a good joke

When Kelly got her appendix removed did she yell out “ Steve Carrell !!!!”

PCOS gives me weirdly high testosterone levels. I’m the slow kid who was always picked last in sports.  Not that I cared, because despite all that testosterone, I was also not competitive when it came to sports. My sister, who is a fantastic athlete and IS very competitive, has normal hormone levels.

Maybe marching bands are just awesome, and we can just celebrate mainstream celebs utilizing them in such high-profile ways.

I read an article about Michael Phelps once that described the many ways his physiology and biochemistry is different from the average schlub’s, making him a swimming machine. Never did the article suggest that this was a negative thing that should be suppressed, the tone of the article was more "wow, this is super…

OK, folks, since I’m currently having to point this out over on Deadspin, I thought I’d repeat it here too:

While I do pity celebrities for their lack of privacy, my sympathy only goes so far—the privilege of anonymously holding hands with someone while we walk to CVS for toilet paper probably isn’t the joy Pattinson thinks it is.

I always felt Elizabeth Berkeley redeemed herself in her very next performance, as a spoof of the vapid ingenue character taken down by Dame Goldie (in First Wives Club)...

<watches it once>

Me, reading this dirtbag about eating alone:

Yes, this is what people need when they check into a mental health facility to get their mind right: unfunny leeches proliferating conspiracy theories with made-up facts.

“The teacher at the beginning told us there was no such thing as politically correct and we could say anything we wanted, then anytime I speak up, I get fustigated for being sexist”

I am 300% certain that Tony was named Tyrone in the first draft.

“Scott, you are a good person, and you would make a wonderful father,” and “You will feel so blessed one day.”

I’ll get stoned for this, but I don’t see the value in locking Huffman up. Expensive fine, community service, probation, Hell yeah. But given the small amount involved (comparatively) and her quick turnaround, I don’t get the zealousness here. Do we really think Huffman is a threat to society and going to go on an SAT…

Paying $15K to change test scores is not worth the amount of taxpayer money it would cost to lock her up. Pay a fine, do community service.

To be fair, no it isn’t. It’s never on the damn label. The label always says:
Under 2 years- Ask a doctor.

I am a mom, and it is obnoxious.