If you made this into a bumper sticker, I would buy it. Take my money.

Since the news first broke, I’ve been in knots. Watching from work today.

I absolutely fucking hate him. I don’t know what else to say at this point.

We all have our quirks... I hate the word “titty” in all its incarnations. Tits is ok. The other makes my gears grind. Can I bring back the boobs instead?

As a woman who wears a 36H bra, I feel this article. It’s always so fun to find out that something you have no control over is considered “unfashionable.”

Or that they pick their kid up at Granny’s house,

Listen I’m not about to get my pitchfork out or rev up the rage machine, but I feel like Nicki doing this is lowkey homophobic.

“It smells like fire. It smells like a thousand people smoking cigarettes out here!”

Maybe Ben is being treated for worms?

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

But at what point does it become dead. Like is chewing on a living person consuming live flesh so long as the person remains living? Asking for a friend.

what . . . the . . . fuck . . .whatthefuckisthat.  WHATTHEFUCKISTHAT.

Gosh, Pamela Anderson used to have such good taste in men. What happened?

One of the boring Very Cavallari cast members is pregnant.

I loved The Facts of Life. It’s why I picked this name. She led a good long life and I’m sad she had to die of bone cancer which seems like an incredibly painful way to go. 

See, I don’t read this as Cruise being ignorant of the internet.

‘I don’t know how it came up, but it usually comes up with Seth where he starts talking about marijuana and pornography.’

Thank you, Thomas Markle, for the reminder that it’s ok that I have minimum contact with my parents, even as they are getting older and in bad health. My dad regularly throws the accusation at me that I just think that I’m better than the rest of the family and that I’m embarrassed by them when that thought has never…

“Thomas Markle WON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP”