Add “and when he had to move to another location the shoes were removed and calf-skinned slippers lined with mink fur were placed upon his toesies” and you are 100% correct.

My literal first thought upon seeing the photos was that those shoes have never touched the ground before, so I am v happy that this article exists.

I think my boobs generally disqualify me from that anyway.

I have serious questions for parents that afraid of hearing swear words. #1 of which is “how the fuck do you drive with your kids in the car??” Or is it just my kid whose first sentence is gonna be “feel free to use a fucking turn signal, ya shitwad.”

Agreed. It is fucked up that threats posted online are not treated with the seriousness they deserve.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I thought I was the only one who thought this every damn time. Thank you.#OldiesUnite

Don’t worry, I am! My bucket list doesn’t get to supersede the animals’ welfare, ever.

Yo I did one “Sweating to the Oldies” tape like fifteen years ago and I’m STILL exhausted from it.

Dude them too. Ever since “Free Willy” I have loved killer whales and also thought it is completely ridiculous that anyone would willingly put themselves within a thousand feet of one.

I am simultaneously terrified of sharks and think they are the single most majestic thing on the planet. Snorkeling with whale sharks will forever be a highlight of my life (I’m trying to work my way up to a Great White cage dive). I fully endorse anything that is pro-sharks.

Seriously, every comment I’ve ever seen about this show makes it sound like the last show on Earth I would want to watch. “IT WILL EMOTIONALLY WRECK YOU.” Why would I do that to myself??

Kelly Herron is strong upon strong upon strong, and should be applauded for hours and greeted with puppies and given all the chocolate and gourmet coffees in the land.

Uhhhhhhhhh the line turns blue with trace amounts of liquid, and the diaper is constructed to wick away and absorb much more than that, and if you changed it according to the line you’d be changing the diaper every fifteen minutes, but feel free to do that if you like. Parents managed to change their kids’ diapers for…

Oh darn.

Unhelpful friend: Target diapers are cheap and work great!

Conversely, I swore I’d never buy Pampers after the nonstop leaking my kid did in the hospital. (Pretty sure the hospital also had diapers a size too big but I was not gonna test that theory.)

I’ve almost ceased to recognize his face as Orange, because I ignore his face, but I’m honestly fascinated that his hands and hair are the same color.

Hey Pamela, if you believe so strongly in “innocent until proven guilty,” maybe encourage Mr. Stamina to embrace his day in court. Just sayin.

I have been literally all the people in this video on any random day.

Let’s be real, Prince George does this to her on the regular.