Caroline in the City was a goddamn gem. That is all.

Give Greta all the awards. You go Greta.

AUGHHHH how did I miss that? My commenting privileges are revoked.

#TeamHiddles. If for no other reason than this “fling” lasted three months and ended six months ago. Let it go, gossip mags. Let. It. Go.

Oh thank god I wasn’t alone.

I lectured my cat earlier for not loving me as much as April loves her handlers. I think it’s really going to improve our relationship.

She lifts her tail and I’m like, oh, this is it, this is it, this - nope, poop, just poop. Fourteen times a day, poop.

I am sitting here watching the damn giraffe poop in the dark. Not even ashamed.

I figure by not watching and instead reading about it tomorrow I can a) not contribute to his ratings, and b) support mainstream media. Tonight my refusal to rage watch shall be resistance!

Seriously. I opened the link and just went, “yep. That is exactly what a GOOP kitchen would look like.” Even the pink kitchenaid mixer looks bored.

Just an FYI, this is explicitly illegal in some states so if you’re ever in a position where your boss demands your personal phone, you should contact an employment attorney or the ACLU.

You know, I really think we need a return to calling it the water closet. It sounds so classy. It’s so much better than my suggestion of “stank room.”

They’re called bathrooms, but there are no baths! When they are restrooms there is little rest! It is anarchy; we must restore balance!

Applause! (Double applause for rolling your eyes at your 15 year old self, because we’ve all been there.)

Ok well that is just deserving of applause, as far as I’m concerned.

I also don’t think they understand that women’s bathrooms have stalls. They seem to think a trans woman is gonna go into a women’s restroom, hike up her skirt and use a urinal.

Legit, this is the take I wanted to read. Thank you for reinforcing the image I have of Meryl in my head.

Also, of all the things Tavi Gevinson has done, her work in plays and life in New York sounds like the least interesting thing she could write a memoir about.

Wtf, Uber.

Personally, if I were getting notifications about someone else’s Uber, I would complain to them about that real fast. I complain to my husband when I get a duplicate text from him. So, either: a) taking an uber to his mistress’s house was the literal next thing he did with Uber, b) she told him this was happening and…