Man, loneliness is a trip. I am actually just separated from my partner by 300 miles right now. Days have been weird. I try to eat at the right time, sleep at the right time, but then I look to the side and he's...gone. He's just not there.

I had a yard sale this weekend. We didn't sell much since most of our signs fell down and where I live it's a culdasac that is off the beaten path so business wasn't that great. But we sold some big items that would have been a pain to put back in storage. Sadly we didn't even make enough to pay back the cost of…

I guess the police. . .

Is that a communism joke or a statement of fact?

i think you mean

Holy shit.

I'd really like to know how the conversation between your cousin and that guy went. Especially when he got to the blue bow part.

Through high school, I was weird by choice. I mean it. I didn't kiss any boys or go to any parties. I studied hard and slayed at obscure extra-curricular that got me ridiculed at school but won me week-long vacations to national conventions every summer. It was at one of these conventions where I met one of my best…

When I was in my early 20's, there was a club that my friends and I went to SO often that we joked about it being cheaper to just pay them rent. We knew everyone. Everyone knew us. My cousin, a 6'8" hulk of a guy, was the bouncer. It was just one of those great (if slightly alcoholic) moments in time.

I want to win a pissing contest so, so badly, and doing ridiculous shit for sex might just be the one thing I deserve a gold medal at. I'll give extra stories to show my desperation:

Say mean things on Jezebel

Am I the only one finding Ms. Escobedo Shepherd somewhat...insufferable?

Absolutely the best use of the "let her go" trope.

Honorable mention goes to Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.

LOVE THE COSMIC CAT SANDWICH

The noises I made while watching this video were so high pitched my garage door opened.

The mother sounds like a total Sloot.